There are times in life when you simply do not remember anything about yourself. When everything seems a play, a stage and you feel just like Truman in the Truman show. Where everyone knows except you, and usually the first instinct is to go back to a place in your past where you perceived yourself as safe and sound, but automatically that idea is refuted because if everything is a stage, then that place that you so long seek is also a non existent place, it is rather a memory of the illusion of being safe.
I used to feel like that a lot, and I still do sometimes, when I just want silence and to be embraced by the darkness, for the darkness expects nothing of me, and it can show me a glimpse of memory of who am I really. Before I embraced the darkness, I was terrified by it, It made me feel evil, and as if there was something wrong with me, for the darkness is where we dont go, specially when we are young, specially when the people around you are so afraid you will be lost.
When I speak of the darkness I do not mean an evil place, I mean a place under the earth where all seeds rest before they sprout. I refer to it, as my good friend Lily reminded me... a womb where a baby is comforted for the first 9 months, where the baby becomes.
I have learned that the only way to step through the stages of life when the darkness makes a personal invitation to you, is to stand on truths. I call them my lily-pads, for they grow out of the mud, but they grow so that I can step on them, and so I can be reminded of my own truth. Once I start recognizing truth, it is easy to go back and feel good about your life, because even though much of the surface is an illusion, you start to recognize the truths of your growth, and every time you do that it makes a little bit more sense. It clears the path in front of you, and behind you.
I recently talked to a cousin of mine, Max, and we were talking about how sometimes we dont remember what causes us to feel certain ways. Trying to make a point I digged in to my past, and I found a jewel, a pearl, a gift of understanding. And it has brought to me a whole new idea that maybe, just maybe ... I designed this just this way. This brings about a theory of the evolution of man's consciousness that as I think of it, it sounds a lot of what the Buddha talked about.
Christianity has paved the way for reincarnation in more ways than one, hence positioning itself out there with Hinduism as an old religion, with truth in the midst of the stories designed to control the masses. So reincarnation is real, and karma is real, and the soul journey is real, where past experiences design future experiences until lessons are learned. The Buddha spoke of the wheel of Karma and how we were subject to it, until we would realize our Dharma and escape the wheel. Jesus spoke of the kingdom of God to be a kingdom for those that follow him. Jesus is the way, the Tao, the Dharma, and the kingdom of God is the escape from the wheel.
If this is truth, then there are two types of reincarnation (Probably way many more) but that I can see, or start to see. One is the one where you are inside the wheel, and you just go through the soul journey, until you have learned the lessons that need to be learned to ascend or in other words to be worthy of the kingdom of God, or through experiences needed to neutralize Karma. There are contracts, soul groups and such that as they become more aware as souls, they continue to travel together to go through it all over again. However these souls still are in training the consciousness in expansion, they are no less nor more, they just are playing the programs that they need to play to rise their awareness of who they are.
Then there is the second sort of reincarnation, which is deliberately, to your own design, a last test if you will. One that is designed in such an exact way, a clock work. There is no recipe for everyone is different, but the ultimate goal is the same, to go in one last time, to do it all over again, and this time, to escape the game completely, to join source. There is a chance to believe that there may be a group as well, a study group that are in the same stage and that they all decided to come through one more time or that they come at it alone. It doesn't matter, all that matters is that the design is perfect, and it makes sense, it has specific commands to keep you on track, as if you thought about all the shiny things that will distract you, and it keeps you, until you can remember. Yet remembering is only the first step, then you must take the reign of your Dharma once more, continue the study, once more, and get out of the Karma that you had to create in order to come again. But if everything goes well, at the end you will be one with source, and the mission will be complete.
This understanding humbles me, for I know nothing about anybody else's journey. I know not what stage they are in, For all I know they are Masters that designed their life as they did for a reason, maybe as a favor for humanity. For all I know these sleeping giants are just waiting for us to be ready.
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