Some may say "she gave up", some might say "she was strong" what they say I should not care, for both are true, I gave up and I have been so strong for so many for so long. I will move on with my blood tattooed across the land that embraced me, let my organic body feed the land that fed me and nurtured me, and when all the blood is spilled, knit a blanket with my hair and burn it to hell, to honor the life I built just to burn to the ground. Take my heart and throw it in a pond, for fishes to feast on what I could never rejoice.
And let my death be pointless, for they will say "she had it all" but you know this was the evil joke you planned for me all along. To fill me with pain in the middle of a rainbow, to make sure none knew. It was you who planned revenge on my soul the moment I went to seek for my own sun. I have learned my lesson, I cant outrun you, but I've also learned you are vengeful, and that makes you as imperfect as your toy. So kill me softly, and quietly, pour water in my fire, and as you extinguish my breath, you will know that you are not better than me, for by doing this to me you prove the reason why I jumped into the dark to find my own light.
Part 3 of 3
Showing posts with label existencial. Show all posts
Showing posts with label existencial. Show all posts
Friday, June 29, 2018
The experiment gone wrong
I need to stop, I need help, please take me, take my breath, and give my years to whomever wants to continue to play, because I dont, I am done feeling and I have nothing to lose now, I do more damage on those that I love by every second I stay.
I am a horrible experiment gone awry, can we reset? Can your write your conclusions and dispose of me? Because I was supposed to be done by now and I have nothing, I have done nothing, and the fire coming out of my breath is burning everything I touch, I am a danger for everything around me, so please, disengage and dispose of me, I am done, shred my soul so I am emptiness for eternity, shred my spirit to my pain nurtures the soil of your future props.
Take me to where I belong, to nothingness and darkness, take me please, stop playing like a toy with me, I know I am not special and I have never been. I am just one more so take your notes and pull the plug, have mercy one last time, free me from this senseless time.
Part 2 of 3
I am a horrible experiment gone awry, can we reset? Can your write your conclusions and dispose of me? Because I was supposed to be done by now and I have nothing, I have done nothing, and the fire coming out of my breath is burning everything I touch, I am a danger for everything around me, so please, disengage and dispose of me, I am done, shred my soul so I am emptiness for eternity, shred my spirit to my pain nurtures the soil of your future props.
Take me to where I belong, to nothingness and darkness, take me please, stop playing like a toy with me, I know I am not special and I have never been. I am just one more so take your notes and pull the plug, have mercy one last time, free me from this senseless time.
Part 2 of 3
The pain of the Moon
I feel and I do too much, for even if the leaf falls the rumble disturbs my very core.
I am in the middle of a garden and I cant help feel the burst, I am a combustion a second from happening. And the voice tells me to calm down, to channel from earth to sky just how she taught me, but I am beyond practicing, I am at the end of my road.
There is a new invitation every day, and every day I cant find the strength to commit, to persevere, to purposefully and gradually release the fire that is burning a hole inside of me.
If it's all a dream, why cant I wake up? I am done, I've been born I've grown, I've shopped, I've reproduced, so can I die now? Can I go? Why would you want me here? Why would you show me the myst and then throw me out of my own home? Not only did I lose my wings, my shield and my sword and was pushed to live like a mortal, now you make me a bomb? Why?! And what is worst, is that you have made me a bomb and hid the trigger from my thumb.
Where is my magic? where is my temple? Why do I keep taking away my dreams? and what else do you want from me? Don't you think I've seen I am not the only one? I dont carry the message alone, and the cause is beyond my vision now, so why am I still here? I have no mission, no wings, no temple, no home, no shield, no sword, no purpose, just a hole and a bomb. What do you want to blow up? Why me? What did I destroyed that you have made sure I lose everything, and Now you go for my mind, when will it be enough? for you to allow me to just go and join the darkness of my soul?
Part 1 of 3
Tuesday, June 12, 2018
The Soul Evolution of the Brujo
Today I heard in UNAM radio http://www.radio.unam.mx/ i the 9-10AM time slot some interesting information about the phenomena that some cultures have documented as part of their belief system through the centuries. The presence of brujos and men of great power is often described in some indigenous cultures. I hereby offer a story based on this fact.
Times have been sometimes dark and sometimes lighter, although they have never been all light for me. I have been in the darkest of times, and through the times when the light took over, and through the time that I was adored, demonized and plain wrong.
On the contrary, a person that has been in the light for all of its known existence is a person that has a shield of protection placed by a mother like figure, they must descend of a protected blood. They are by default just men and women and overall happy contributors of their environment, without the need to question their reality, but rather accept it. This is what some would call a privileged existence for they learn from infancy the agreements that will provide them with the right thought process that will allow them to manifest their own contentment. They are the majority, and that is why when there are massive awakenings, these privileged beings are the most tempted to rebel, for it is their first time hearing about something they were oblivious to. Without massive disruption these souls continue their evolution in a gradual way, doing right by default and not by conviction. These people can be woken, although it would mean to take a protection that had been granted to them, and leave them to fend for themselves. Hence, a privileged can only seek the darkness, the darkness can not come to it as it comes to some of us, from very early in our lives.
Those brewed in darkness have loved it, breath it, left it behind, come back to it, swore it off, and embraced it back. And this is where I have been, I have by now been in the darkness more than there has been light, and yet here I am trying to find a place, an place between the comfort of the darkness and the warmth of the light.
I remember when there was no law, and we would linger through the souls of humans, those that feared us. Yesterday in the radio there was mentioned of an indigenous culture of Mexico where they described how it used to happen from time to time that a brujo would impregnate a woman in her sleep, an immaculate conception, and that since this birth was not naturally scheduled but forced then a kid in town would start vanishing by sickness to compensate the unbalance. As I listened I recognized some things, for example that when men started to study the mystic arts ages ago, they would grow in a specific scope of geography, so all around the world, human evolution took on the mystic religion, not only by belief but by practice.
Great beings of power for many years were on their own, they learned and evolved by trail and error, and things like that mentioned in the radio, even though not exactly like that, but very similar where one could force its own rebirth. These kinds of things had taken place in more cultures than we are aware of today; however to this date there are easier ways and heavier preoccupations in which the mystic partakes. There are councils now that oversee these kinds of forbidden practices, that require human sacrifice. The ones that might practice to this date are societies that are inclined to the practice of what would be considered souls that are stuck in their evolution by the pursuit of absolute power.
These are some of the things I have remembered through my life in this time. I am not sure I have caused this birth on will, I know I have chosen the partners I would do it, I also know those that had been previously chosen were also in the darkness so its hard to say if we are at it again, or if we are really trying to bridge the light and the night. If we are shadows, or reflections, or both.
Times have been sometimes dark and sometimes lighter, although they have never been all light for me. I have been in the darkest of times, and through the times when the light took over, and through the time that I was adored, demonized and plain wrong.
On the contrary, a person that has been in the light for all of its known existence is a person that has a shield of protection placed by a mother like figure, they must descend of a protected blood. They are by default just men and women and overall happy contributors of their environment, without the need to question their reality, but rather accept it. This is what some would call a privileged existence for they learn from infancy the agreements that will provide them with the right thought process that will allow them to manifest their own contentment. They are the majority, and that is why when there are massive awakenings, these privileged beings are the most tempted to rebel, for it is their first time hearing about something they were oblivious to. Without massive disruption these souls continue their evolution in a gradual way, doing right by default and not by conviction. These people can be woken, although it would mean to take a protection that had been granted to them, and leave them to fend for themselves. Hence, a privileged can only seek the darkness, the darkness can not come to it as it comes to some of us, from very early in our lives.
Those brewed in darkness have loved it, breath it, left it behind, come back to it, swore it off, and embraced it back. And this is where I have been, I have by now been in the darkness more than there has been light, and yet here I am trying to find a place, an place between the comfort of the darkness and the warmth of the light.
I remember when there was no law, and we would linger through the souls of humans, those that feared us. Yesterday in the radio there was mentioned of an indigenous culture of Mexico where they described how it used to happen from time to time that a brujo would impregnate a woman in her sleep, an immaculate conception, and that since this birth was not naturally scheduled but forced then a kid in town would start vanishing by sickness to compensate the unbalance. As I listened I recognized some things, for example that when men started to study the mystic arts ages ago, they would grow in a specific scope of geography, so all around the world, human evolution took on the mystic religion, not only by belief but by practice.
Great beings of power for many years were on their own, they learned and evolved by trail and error, and things like that mentioned in the radio, even though not exactly like that, but very similar where one could force its own rebirth. These kinds of things had taken place in more cultures than we are aware of today; however to this date there are easier ways and heavier preoccupations in which the mystic partakes. There are councils now that oversee these kinds of forbidden practices, that require human sacrifice. The ones that might practice to this date are societies that are inclined to the practice of what would be considered souls that are stuck in their evolution by the pursuit of absolute power.
These are some of the things I have remembered through my life in this time. I am not sure I have caused this birth on will, I know I have chosen the partners I would do it, I also know those that had been previously chosen were also in the darkness so its hard to say if we are at it again, or if we are really trying to bridge the light and the night. If we are shadows, or reflections, or both.
Labels out of the pantry and into the 3D
When we think of labels, what do we think of? Some might say, we mean a tool to learn, and others will say its tool to organize, others will say its a tool to identify. In essence, we can say that they are useful, that they have been able to withstand the test of time, and to this date, a world without labels will just fall off the orbit in more ways than one. The evolution of labels has penetrated the digital divide, programs would collapse if all of the sudden we decided that labels were no longer appropriate.
So what is the debate about labels, in society? The labels that we put ourselves must in theory serve a purpose, but it is important then that we are aware of this so we can use it to our own advantage. That is why first impressions are crucial, because we do not know in what mode are the people outside our world labeling us. Yet the world confuse us by dividing us, in those that think labels are good and go by them, and those that think labels are bad and go against norm in general to prove a point, reinforcing the point of the others. Because the reality is not in which side is right or wrong. The solution is in the truths that those two positions share in common. There is the potential for peace. Yet to those that the division is evident can use this to their advantage, or they can observe, get out the divide and be able to see a different point of view and be an example of a life outside the divide. Not by proclamation but by just living their life outside the divide. Interacting with those in both sides, breaking the paradigm. Disruptive that do not create chaos, rather they offer an option outside the divide.
Labels then, are just a topic, like labels, there are many ideas that divide us, but there are also alternatives, and often the alternative is a personal choice of tolerance and responsibility of the actions that our ideas commit us to.
So what is the debate about labels, in society? The labels that we put ourselves must in theory serve a purpose, but it is important then that we are aware of this so we can use it to our own advantage. That is why first impressions are crucial, because we do not know in what mode are the people outside our world labeling us. Yet the world confuse us by dividing us, in those that think labels are good and go by them, and those that think labels are bad and go against norm in general to prove a point, reinforcing the point of the others. Because the reality is not in which side is right or wrong. The solution is in the truths that those two positions share in common. There is the potential for peace. Yet to those that the division is evident can use this to their advantage, or they can observe, get out the divide and be able to see a different point of view and be an example of a life outside the divide. Not by proclamation but by just living their life outside the divide. Interacting with those in both sides, breaking the paradigm. Disruptive that do not create chaos, rather they offer an option outside the divide.
Labels then, are just a topic, like labels, there are many ideas that divide us, but there are also alternatives, and often the alternative is a personal choice of tolerance and responsibility of the actions that our ideas commit us to.
Sunday, August 20, 2017
Window of Powerful Transition
Its been a while since I last wrote, or published a PODCAST but soon I will have hopefully two brand new episodes very promising for me and for my path.
There is a new season starting and every layer of my being feels it. Its a moment to really be grateful. I have been blessed with many gifts in the last powerful weeks and they have been so subtle but so profound that to the naked eye may be nothing, but for me, its like I have been reborn anew.
I have been moving around with my family since the end of June and its all coming to a stop, to a phase of rest, I think this is the season to gather energy and prepare for the winter, to prepare for the darkness of days, and to conserve the teachings of this summer of 2017 that has been one of the most amazing yet.
In the coming days we have a lot of things happening... at least me, tomorrow there is a town celebration of the town where part of my family is from, and it is also my 33rd birthday (a very meaningful year for me) and a new moon, with a cherry on top which is the eclipse in this side of the hemisphere on the next day. Its amazing! Its like the Universe is screaming to me that its the new birth I have foreseen for so long. I am humble at the sight of the Universe, at the elements, at the Goddess, at darkness, at shadows, at the light.
For my my 33rd birthday is about mastery, and I have set myself earlier this year to decide what I was going to Master? I came up with a long list, and I have started my way... but the first of them, was to Master myself, one of the hardest things I have set myself to do. And even though I am not 100% there yet (and who knows if I ever will be at 100%) I am closer than I have ever had, and that has opened the doors to Master all the other things in my list, or at least to be in the way. This year hence is the year in which I take full responsibility of my path, and trust fully in the guidance within, the one that comes from the four corners of the universe and beyond.
The Eclipse this year is to me a powerful transmutation tool, and the effects extend beyond the days to come. I still remember the first eclipse I witnessed, I was 6 or 7 years old and I was humbled, questions and enigmas started silently to be fed inside of me, and now I see the union of the sun and the moon as a magical pass that we get to witness, a union a mathematical precision that is happening clockwork, while we are travelling through space at 300 kilometers per second or so. Its just beyond patterns, its a symphony. A day that will live in my code for as long as I am light.
Thank you
Tuesday, July 4, 2017
Life as we know it
There are times in life when you simply do not remember anything about yourself. When everything seems a play, a stage and you feel just like Truman in the Truman show. Where everyone knows except you, and usually the first instinct is to go back to a place in your past where you perceived yourself as safe and sound, but automatically that idea is refuted because if everything is a stage, then that place that you so long seek is also a non existent place, it is rather a memory of the illusion of being safe.
I used to feel like that a lot, and I still do sometimes, when I just want silence and to be embraced by the darkness, for the darkness expects nothing of me, and it can show me a glimpse of memory of who am I really. Before I embraced the darkness, I was terrified by it, It made me feel evil, and as if there was something wrong with me, for the darkness is where we dont go, specially when we are young, specially when the people around you are so afraid you will be lost.
When I speak of the darkness I do not mean an evil place, I mean a place under the earth where all seeds rest before they sprout. I refer to it, as my good friend Lily reminded me... a womb where a baby is comforted for the first 9 months, where the baby becomes.
I have learned that the only way to step through the stages of life when the darkness makes a personal invitation to you, is to stand on truths. I call them my lily-pads, for they grow out of the mud, but they grow so that I can step on them, and so I can be reminded of my own truth. Once I start recognizing truth, it is easy to go back and feel good about your life, because even though much of the surface is an illusion, you start to recognize the truths of your growth, and every time you do that it makes a little bit more sense. It clears the path in front of you, and behind you.
I recently talked to a cousin of mine, Max, and we were talking about how sometimes we dont remember what causes us to feel certain ways. Trying to make a point I digged in to my past, and I found a jewel, a pearl, a gift of understanding. And it has brought to me a whole new idea that maybe, just maybe ... I designed this just this way. This brings about a theory of the evolution of man's consciousness that as I think of it, it sounds a lot of what the Buddha talked about.
Christianity has paved the way for reincarnation in more ways than one, hence positioning itself out there with Hinduism as an old religion, with truth in the midst of the stories designed to control the masses. So reincarnation is real, and karma is real, and the soul journey is real, where past experiences design future experiences until lessons are learned. The Buddha spoke of the wheel of Karma and how we were subject to it, until we would realize our Dharma and escape the wheel. Jesus spoke of the kingdom of God to be a kingdom for those that follow him. Jesus is the way, the Tao, the Dharma, and the kingdom of God is the escape from the wheel.
If this is truth, then there are two types of reincarnation (Probably way many more) but that I can see, or start to see. One is the one where you are inside the wheel, and you just go through the soul journey, until you have learned the lessons that need to be learned to ascend or in other words to be worthy of the kingdom of God, or through experiences needed to neutralize Karma. There are contracts, soul groups and such that as they become more aware as souls, they continue to travel together to go through it all over again. However these souls still are in training the consciousness in expansion, they are no less nor more, they just are playing the programs that they need to play to rise their awareness of who they are.
Then there is the second sort of reincarnation, which is deliberately, to your own design, a last test if you will. One that is designed in such an exact way, a clock work. There is no recipe for everyone is different, but the ultimate goal is the same, to go in one last time, to do it all over again, and this time, to escape the game completely, to join source. There is a chance to believe that there may be a group as well, a study group that are in the same stage and that they all decided to come through one more time or that they come at it alone. It doesn't matter, all that matters is that the design is perfect, and it makes sense, it has specific commands to keep you on track, as if you thought about all the shiny things that will distract you, and it keeps you, until you can remember. Yet remembering is only the first step, then you must take the reign of your Dharma once more, continue the study, once more, and get out of the Karma that you had to create in order to come again. But if everything goes well, at the end you will be one with source, and the mission will be complete.
This understanding humbles me, for I know nothing about anybody else's journey. I know not what stage they are in, For all I know they are Masters that designed their life as they did for a reason, maybe as a favor for humanity. For all I know these sleeping giants are just waiting for us to be ready.
Friday, June 4, 2010
The Patterns of Life
Today is Friday, which means that I am posting one of the subjects I put in my original INTRODUCTION back in 2009.
This week is about the patters of life, which is an interesting topic and one of my favorites for so many reasons and maybe a lot of us are able to see these patterns present in all that surrounds us.
When we go to school and come across algebra we cannot immediately see why all those equations and graphs are good for. However when I was in college I was actually able to realize why mathematics is the language of the Universe, or at least so I thought I understood.
I think I even cried one day because I tried to ask an existential question to my MATH teacher expecting an existential answer, and all I got was a math answer, although now that I think about it I wish I could have that recording...I am sure that math answer would make so much more sense now than what it did that day.
The most important thing that I realized about algebra was that you can actually build an equation for a lot of things, and I used to think that you can actually build an equation that will define a person’s life. Such equations depending on the sign, the exponent etc… have different graphs and that those are the waves that we follow every day.
For example when an equation is set, the uniqueness is given by the variable, and the variable for me in this example is us. I say all this to explain how I understand the patterns of life. The patterns like equations exist, however the situations and outcomes are always different, forming a different wave and a different frequency because of the variable that makes the result change. If the equation is set so the graph goes downward slopping, if the variable has an opposite sign it can change the whole of the graph. And that is exactly what happens with humans. We often follow patterns; some of them have been going for generations and generations however we have the ability to change the whole graph by being us.
The theory and philosophy of karma is very extensive, however the main idea is the same, we all carry on data from our ancestors, even communities, countries and even our planet has a karma that has to overcome. This karma is sometimes seen in form of patterns, for example when you go to a bad neighborhood and you see how the same story is repeated generation after generation, until one day one person changes a little or big factor and the whole family evolves.
Karma and patterns are not good or bad; they are just inheritance that have to be overcome so we can continue in the evolution process. So every time you can change a pattern in your life, have in mind that you may not be changing only your life, but your whole descendant’s future, and even your family, community, country and even our planet.
There is a method called recapitulation, in which you, by entering meditation go through some stages in your life, and as an spectator you can see a different perspective and sometimes you can actually see this patterns throughout your life. Some also call this archetypes, however the most amazing thing is that even though there are patterns, the human factor just creates a whole new thing. The way I see it, human consciousness is the beginning of the expansion in the universe. My theory is that by overcoming these patterns, and releasing karma it is the way to activate our DNA and unlock what is really hidden within, what has been covered by the dust of history. It is the big 8 lying down….. The serpent biting its own tail….
Pictures taken from:
http://www.eaglezen.com/images/new%20pics/infinite%20ONE.jpg
http://www.freewebs.com/destructionofthesticks/uroboros.jpg
This week is about the patters of life, which is an interesting topic and one of my favorites for so many reasons and maybe a lot of us are able to see these patterns present in all that surrounds us.
When we go to school and come across algebra we cannot immediately see why all those equations and graphs are good for. However when I was in college I was actually able to realize why mathematics is the language of the Universe, or at least so I thought I understood.
I think I even cried one day because I tried to ask an existential question to my MATH teacher expecting an existential answer, and all I got was a math answer, although now that I think about it I wish I could have that recording...I am sure that math answer would make so much more sense now than what it did that day.
The most important thing that I realized about algebra was that you can actually build an equation for a lot of things, and I used to think that you can actually build an equation that will define a person’s life. Such equations depending on the sign, the exponent etc… have different graphs and that those are the waves that we follow every day.
For example when an equation is set, the uniqueness is given by the variable, and the variable for me in this example is us. I say all this to explain how I understand the patterns of life. The patterns like equations exist, however the situations and outcomes are always different, forming a different wave and a different frequency because of the variable that makes the result change. If the equation is set so the graph goes downward slopping, if the variable has an opposite sign it can change the whole of the graph. And that is exactly what happens with humans. We often follow patterns; some of them have been going for generations and generations however we have the ability to change the whole graph by being us.
The theory and philosophy of karma is very extensive, however the main idea is the same, we all carry on data from our ancestors, even communities, countries and even our planet has a karma that has to overcome. This karma is sometimes seen in form of patterns, for example when you go to a bad neighborhood and you see how the same story is repeated generation after generation, until one day one person changes a little or big factor and the whole family evolves.
Karma and patterns are not good or bad; they are just inheritance that have to be overcome so we can continue in the evolution process. So every time you can change a pattern in your life, have in mind that you may not be changing only your life, but your whole descendant’s future, and even your family, community, country and even our planet.
There is a method called recapitulation, in which you, by entering meditation go through some stages in your life, and as an spectator you can see a different perspective and sometimes you can actually see this patterns throughout your life. Some also call this archetypes, however the most amazing thing is that even though there are patterns, the human factor just creates a whole new thing. The way I see it, human consciousness is the beginning of the expansion in the universe. My theory is that by overcoming these patterns, and releasing karma it is the way to activate our DNA and unlock what is really hidden within, what has been covered by the dust of history. It is the big 8 lying down….. The serpent biting its own tail….
Pictures taken from:
http://www.eaglezen.com/images/new%20pics/infinite%20ONE.jpg
http://www.freewebs.com/destructionofthesticks/uroboros.jpg
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