The pain of the Moon

I feel and I do too much, for even if the leaf falls the rumble disturbs my very core.
I am in the middle of a garden and I cant help feel the burst, I am a combustion a second from happening. And the voice tells me to calm down, to channel from earth to sky just how she taught me, but I am beyond practicing, I am at the end of my road.

There is a new invitation every day, and every day I cant find the strength to commit, to persevere, to purposefully and gradually release the fire that is burning a hole inside of me.

If it's all a dream, why cant I wake up? I am done, I've been born I've grown, I've shopped, I've reproduced, so can I die now? Can I go? Why would you want me here? Why would you show me the myst and then throw me out of my own home? Not only did I lose my wings, my shield and my sword and was pushed to live like a mortal, now you make me a bomb? Why?! And what is worst, is that you have made me a bomb and hid the trigger from my thumb.

Where is my magic? where is my temple? Why do I keep taking away my dreams? and what else do you want from me? Don't you think I've seen I am not the only one? I dont carry the message alone, and the cause is beyond my vision now, so why am I still here? I have no mission, no wings, no temple, no home, no shield, no sword, no purpose, just a hole and a bomb. What do you want to blow up? Why me? What did I destroyed that you have made sure I lose everything, and Now you go for my mind, when will it be enough? for you to allow me to just go and join the darkness of my soul?

Part 1 of 3