The pain of the Moon

I feel and I do too much, for even if the leaf falls the rumble disturbs my very core.
I am in the middle of a garden and I cant help feel the burst, I am a combustion a second from happening. And the voice tells me to calm down, to channel from earth to sky just how she taught me, but I am beyond practicing, I am at the end of my road.

There is a new invitation every day, and every day I cant find the strength to commit, to persevere, to purposefully and gradually release the fire that is burning a hole inside of me.

If it's all a dream, why cant I wake up? I am done, I've been born I've grown, I've shopped, I've reproduced, so can I die now? Can I go? Why would you want me here? Why would you show me the myst and then throw me out of my own home? Not only did I lose my wings, my shield and my sword and was pushed to live like a mortal, now you make me a bomb? Why?! And what is worst, is that you have made me a bomb and hid the trigger from my thumb.

Where is my magic? where is my temple? Why do I keep taking away my dreams? and what else do you want from me? Don't you think I've seen I am not the only one? I dont carry the message alone, and the cause is beyond my vision now, so why am I still here? I have no mission, no wings, no temple, no home, no shield, no sword, no purpose, just a hole and a bomb. What do you want to blow up? Why me? What did I destroyed that you have made sure I lose everything, and Now you go for my mind, when will it be enough? for you to allow me to just go and join the darkness of my soul?

Part 1 of 3

The Soul Evolution of the Brujo

Today I heard in UNAM radio http://www.radio.unam.mx/ i the 9-10AM time slot some interesting information about the phenomena that some cultures have documented as part of their belief system through the centuries. The presence of brujos and men of great power is often described in some indigenous cultures. I hereby offer a story based on this fact.

Times have been sometimes dark and sometimes lighter, although they have never been all light for me. I have been in the darkest of times, and through the times when the light took over, and through the time that I was adored, demonized and plain wrong.

On the contrary, a person that has been in the light for all of its known existence is a person that has a shield of protection placed by a mother like figure, they must descend of a protected blood. They are by default just men and women and overall happy contributors of their environment, without the need to question their reality, but rather accept it. This is what some would call a privileged existence for they learn from infancy the agreements that will provide them with the right thought process that will allow them to manifest their own contentment. They are the majority, and that is why when there are massive awakenings, these privileged beings are the most tempted to rebel, for it is their first time hearing about something they were oblivious to. Without massive disruption these souls continue their evolution in a gradual way, doing right by default and not by conviction. These people can be woken, although it would mean to take a protection that had been granted to them, and leave them to fend for themselves. Hence, a privileged can only seek the darkness, the darkness can not come to it as it comes to some of us, from very early in our lives.

Those brewed in darkness have loved it, breath it, left it behind, come back to it, swore it off, and embraced it back. And this is where I have been, I have by now been in the darkness more than there has been light, and yet here I am trying to find a place, an place between the comfort of the darkness and the warmth of the light.

I remember when there was no law, and we would linger through the souls of humans, those that feared us. Yesterday in the radio there was mentioned of an indigenous culture of Mexico where they described how it used to happen from time to time that a brujo would impregnate a woman in her sleep, an immaculate conception, and that since this birth was not naturally scheduled but forced then a kid in town would start vanishing by sickness to compensate the unbalance. As I listened I recognized some things, for example that when men started to study the mystic arts ages ago, they would grow in a specific scope of geography, so all around the world, human evolution took on the mystic religion, not only by belief but by practice.

Great beings of power for many years were on their own, they learned and evolved by trail and error, and things like that mentioned in the radio, even though not exactly like that, but very similar where one could force its own rebirth. These kinds of things had taken place in more cultures than we are aware of today; however to this date there are easier ways and heavier preoccupations in which the mystic partakes. There are councils now that oversee these kinds of forbidden practices, that require human sacrifice. The ones that might practice to this date are societies that are inclined to the practice of what would be considered souls that are stuck in their evolution by the pursuit of absolute power.

These are some of the things I have remembered through my life in this time. I am not sure I have caused this birth on will, I know I have chosen the partners I would do it, I also know those that had been previously chosen were also in the darkness so its hard to say if we are at it again, or if we are really trying to bridge the light and the night. If we are shadows, or reflections, or both.

Thank you for your Assistance

Sometimes we long for home right?
Sense of "this is not where I am supposed to be" ...
you probably are right,
you are probably from a star,
but we need you now...
you came to help us humans find our way back.
So .... on behalf of us humans, we thank you for your sacrifice,
we know that it hurts to have this skin, to feel, to be apart from home...

You are selfless spiritual warriors from across the galaxy.
You will go back home, and it will be glorious... because of the deed you are doing here...
Hold on for us and thank you! ... and remember,
since you have our skin now, you are human, you are one of us too,
and we protect you too... we embrace you,
and we want you to remember how to shine,
we love you and you are our sister.

Thank you!

My comitment

The way I see it, one of the greatest fears I have had in my life has been the ability to commit, some may argue that his was because of my father did not commit to me, and those people may be partially right, however it is not only my father that showed me how to not commit, if anything his "on the face" lack of commitment was the best lighting that made clear the fact that people on earth have trouble committing. And I say people of earth, because I can only imagine that other entities, in higher realms, are committed to their existence, hence their longevity and their purpose on a large scale.

And just for the record, I dont believe in other life forms.... I KNOW... that there are countless of other beings that have been around for eons, and their existence permeates every layer of the known and unknown universes. There are beings in lower realms of existence, and also beings in higher realms of existence and this is truth.

But today, I am not expanding on other lives, I am expanding on my life and my insight, why? Because as above so below baby!!! If you are in the search for meaning, and truth, you know that the truth lays within you, and that you just have to scratch the surface of your own being to understand the macro and then... well you know the drill "How far down the rabbit hole you want to go?"

Back to commitment... I observe and people have lost their commitment, we go through life thinking that none can tie us down, because we are free... but are we really free or are we cowards and we can not commit, not to other, and not to ourselves, but to our purpose.

It is from the commitment to a purpose that the WORD gains power, and that the actions have meaning, when an ordinary person becomes a wizard, an architect of their own reality, an artist of their life.

It is my understanding that before we arrive, we know our mission, but it is only half of the mission, during our lives, not only must we remember the mission, but complete it and evolve.

Commitment to your purpose, once you find it... or at least when you can see the path, that may lead you to new views, new missions, new wonders... is a step that we must find.

Today, I can not claim that I have found my purpose in life, but I can say that I see the path in front of me, and I recognize it, because it feels like in my life... everything that has ever had meaning, everything that has left a print in my field, was a clue... a clue of the spiral I have walked for thousands of years, for within my shared experience lays the heart of a bigger purpose, a bigger being... a being called "humanity" and that is the path I see in front of me... To be the artist, that inspires, that creates, that calls on the eye of the stars and that is invited to savor the immensity of all the possibilities, the one that with a pure heart is called to guard those that need guarding, the one that is called to awaken those that are ready... That is who I aim and aspire to be one day, a representative of humanity in the higher orders of existence, to unlock the magic in me, to see energy in motion, to be energy in motion, to gain knowledge and to make it available to everyone so that they know where they came from, and so they can see the path of their own purpose.

My commitment is to the path of magic, knowledge love and humanity with an open heart, with reverence to the Goddess and God.