The pursuit of hapiness

The pursuit of happiness

Feelings and emotions. It seems that they are never over, they never stop and even when you

start being able to detach, an emotion of guilt covers you making you feel like you are not normal.

I run my day every day hoping for a perfect feeling... and I get those moments sporadically, when I'm allowed to just appreciate my surroundings, otherwise I am just overwhelmed with all this energy inside of me wanting to get out.

And it usually goes out in frustration, in complaining in feeling with time and the world over my shoulders. And then I go out thinking is all me, that I am the only one with a hectic life and all these things that run through my head, all my little or big obstacles.

The truth is that I've overcome some of the greatest judges in my life... and as I conquered the big ones I went on thinking I was done, not paying attention to the little ones, the mundane ones. And I finally understand that as long as I continue pursuing happiness and expecting for

perfection, for exactness, wishing for time, wishing for help, wishing .... the furthest away I go.

Today I feel connected through the energy that guides my emotions with the energy that flows through the world. I saw my emotions and feelings as just waves of an influx of energy... I saw me as just a mere artifact. Just like trees flow air, we are instruments in flowing energy.

Today I thought: maybe I have no problems at all... maybe I'm just processing energy. They are not real, only love is real for all is love trying to be expressed. I am not even human, I am a tree.... I dig deep looking for home because I need to lay my roots and I continue to want more because I want to grow high... it's unconscious , it's coded in our DNA, to be able to process the

energy from down up and help it recycle.... we are not the top of the chain, we are a filter. Let's

shed our egos that we are the top race of this world and do our job, to learn from our grandparents the trees to have roots that interconnect the whole world, to provide shelter and shade... to be a safe place during the dark, to be part of the cycle of life.

Hover over me lord, Goddess, allow me to be the better filter, allow me to detach from my circumstances and do my job to process. A tree never gives out CO2 , help me give love 100% of the time, shed me from my expectations of love ... remind me that love hides in the dark as well as in the light. I am a God when I am IN Love

Life as we know it

There are times in life when you simply do not remember anything about yourself. When everything seems a play, a stage and you feel just like Truman in the Truman show. Where everyone knows except you, and usually the first instinct is to go back to a place in your past where you perceived yourself as safe and sound, but automatically that idea is refuted because if everything is a stage, then that place that you so long seek is also a non existent place, it is rather a memory of the illusion of being safe.

I used to feel like that a lot, and I still do sometimes, when I just want silence and to be embraced by the darkness, for the darkness expects nothing of me, and it can show me a glimpse of memory of who am I really. Before I embraced the darkness, I was terrified by it, It made me feel evil, and as if there was something wrong with me, for the darkness is where we dont go, specially when we are young, specially when the people around you are so afraid you will be lost.

When I speak of the darkness I do not mean an evil place, I mean a place under the earth where all seeds rest before they sprout. I refer to it, as my good friend Lily reminded me... a womb where a baby is comforted for the first 9 months, where the baby becomes.

I have learned that the only way to step through the stages of life when the darkness makes a personal invitation to you, is to stand on truths. I call them my lily-pads, for they grow out of the mud, but they grow so that I can step on them, and so I can be reminded of my own truth. Once I start recognizing truth, it is easy to go back and feel good about your life, because even though much of the surface is an illusion, you start to recognize the truths of your growth, and every time you do that it makes a little bit more sense. It clears the path in front of you, and behind you.

I recently talked to a cousin of mine, Max, and we were talking about how sometimes we dont remember what causes us to feel certain ways. Trying to make a point I digged in to my past, and I found a jewel, a pearl, a gift of understanding. And it has brought to me a whole new idea that maybe, just maybe ... I designed this just this way. This brings about a theory of the evolution of man's consciousness that as I think of it, it sounds a lot of what the Buddha talked about.

Christianity has paved the way for reincarnation in more ways than one, hence positioning itself out there with Hinduism as an old religion, with truth in the midst of the stories designed to control the masses. So reincarnation is real, and karma is real, and the soul journey is real, where past experiences design future experiences until lessons are learned. The Buddha spoke of the wheel of Karma and how we were subject to it, until we would realize our Dharma and escape the wheel. Jesus spoke of the kingdom of God to be a kingdom for those that follow him. Jesus is the way, the Tao, the Dharma, and the kingdom of God is the escape from the wheel.

If this is truth, then there are two types of reincarnation (Probably way many more) but that I can see, or start to see. One is the one where you are inside the wheel, and you just go through the soul journey, until you have learned the lessons that need to be learned to ascend or in other words to be worthy of the kingdom of God, or through experiences needed to neutralize Karma. There are contracts, soul groups and such that as they become more aware as souls, they continue to travel together to go through it all over again. However these souls still are in training the consciousness in expansion, they are no less nor more, they just are playing the programs that they need to play to rise their awareness of who they are.

Then there is the second sort of reincarnation, which is deliberately, to your own design, a last test if you will. One that is designed in such an exact way, a clock work. There is no recipe for everyone is different, but the ultimate goal is the same, to go in one last time, to do it all over again, and this time, to escape the game completely, to join source. There is a chance to believe that there may be a group as well, a study group that are in the same stage and that they all decided to come through one more time or that they come at it alone. It doesn't matter, all that matters is that the design is perfect, and it makes sense, it has specific commands to keep you on track, as if you thought about all the shiny things that will distract you, and it keeps you, until you can remember. Yet remembering is only the first step, then you must take the reign of your Dharma once more, continue the study, once more, and get out of the Karma that you had to create in order to come again. But if everything goes well, at the end you will be one with source, and the mission will be complete.

This understanding humbles me, for I know nothing about anybody else's journey. I know not what stage they are in, For all I know they are Masters that designed their life as they did for a reason, maybe as a favor for humanity. For all I know these sleeping giants are just waiting for us to be ready.

Thank you for your Assistance

Sometimes we long for home right?
Sense of "this is not where I am supposed to be" ...
you probably are right,
you are probably from a star,
but we need you now...
you came to help us humans find our way back.
So .... on behalf of us humans, we thank you for your sacrifice,
we know that it hurts to have this skin, to feel, to be apart from home...

You are selfless spiritual warriors from across the galaxy.
You will go back home, and it will be glorious... because of the deed you are doing here...
Hold on for us and thank you! ... and remember,
since you have our skin now, you are human, you are one of us too,
and we protect you too... we embrace you,
and we want you to remember how to shine,
we love you and you are our sister.

Thank you!

My comitment

The way I see it, one of the greatest fears I have had in my life has been the ability to commit, some may argue that his was because of my father did not commit to me, and those people may be partially right, however it is not only my father that showed me how to not commit, if anything his "on the face" lack of commitment was the best lighting that made clear the fact that people on earth have trouble committing. And I say people of earth, because I can only imagine that other entities, in higher realms, are committed to their existence, hence their longevity and their purpose on a large scale.

And just for the record, I dont believe in other life forms.... I KNOW... that there are countless of other beings that have been around for eons, and their existence permeates every layer of the known and unknown universes. There are beings in lower realms of existence, and also beings in higher realms of existence and this is truth.

But today, I am not expanding on other lives, I am expanding on my life and my insight, why? Because as above so below baby!!! If you are in the search for meaning, and truth, you know that the truth lays within you, and that you just have to scratch the surface of your own being to understand the macro and then... well you know the drill "How far down the rabbit hole you want to go?"

Back to commitment... I observe and people have lost their commitment, we go through life thinking that none can tie us down, because we are free... but are we really free or are we cowards and we can not commit, not to other, and not to ourselves, but to our purpose.

It is from the commitment to a purpose that the WORD gains power, and that the actions have meaning, when an ordinary person becomes a wizard, an architect of their own reality, an artist of their life.

It is my understanding that before we arrive, we know our mission, but it is only half of the mission, during our lives, not only must we remember the mission, but complete it and evolve.

Commitment to your purpose, once you find it... or at least when you can see the path, that may lead you to new views, new missions, new wonders... is a step that we must find.

Today, I can not claim that I have found my purpose in life, but I can say that I see the path in front of me, and I recognize it, because it feels like in my life... everything that has ever had meaning, everything that has left a print in my field, was a clue... a clue of the spiral I have walked for thousands of years, for within my shared experience lays the heart of a bigger purpose, a bigger being... a being called "humanity" and that is the path I see in front of me... To be the artist, that inspires, that creates, that calls on the eye of the stars and that is invited to savor the immensity of all the possibilities, the one that with a pure heart is called to guard those that need guarding, the one that is called to awaken those that are ready... That is who I aim and aspire to be one day, a representative of humanity in the higher orders of existence, to unlock the magic in me, to see energy in motion, to be energy in motion, to gain knowledge and to make it available to everyone so that they know where they came from, and so they can see the path of their own purpose.

My commitment is to the path of magic, knowledge love and humanity with an open heart, with reverence to the Goddess and God.

Story of a Fallen Star

I was blinded by the smile and your eyes.
After watching about thousands of planets through millions of years, after seeing all the stories and all the lies, one day we crossed paths. And then you saw me, and you blinked your eyes and I could hear your heart. After that we talked every day, you were my only friend, the only one that had ever made me feel alive.

And one day you forgot, I saw your world grow dark, darker than the usual color of the night. I could not hear you, and then one day I saw you in that edge. How could you think you were alone? How could you think your life was not worth?

You see, the sky shined brighter ever since the first time you blinked at me... did you think it was a coincidence? I screamed and you could not hear. So yes! I was blinded, I could not bare to lose that light that comes off from your smile. And I rushed across the skies, I had to come to tell you that you are wrong, that I need you because you make this eternity less dull. Because I didn't know humans until I met you. .... You saw me!

The Patterns of Life

Today is Friday, which means that I am posting one of the subjects I put in my original INTRODUCTION back in 2009.

This week is about the patters of life, which is an interesting topic and one of my favorites for so many reasons and maybe a lot of us are able to see these patterns present in all that surrounds us.

When we go to school and come across algebra we cannot immediately see why all those equations and graphs are good for. However when I was in college I was actually able to realize why mathematics is the language of the Universe, or at least so I thought I understood.

I think I even cried one day because I tried to ask an existential question to my MATH teacher expecting an existential answer, and all I got was a math answer, although now that I think about it I wish I could have that recording...I am sure that math answer would make so much more sense now than what it did that day.

The most important thing that I realized about algebra was that you can actually build an equation for a lot of things, and I used to think that you can actually build an equation that will define a person’s life. Such equations depending on the sign, the exponent etc… have different graphs and that those are the waves that we follow every day.

For example when an equation is set, the uniqueness is given by the variable, and the variable for me in this example is us. I say all this to explain how I understand the patterns of life. The patterns like equations exist, however the situations and outcomes are always different, forming a different wave and a different frequency because of the variable that makes the result change. If the equation is set so the graph goes downward slopping, if the variable has an opposite sign it can change the whole of the graph. And that is exactly what happens with humans. We often follow patterns; some of them have been going for generations and generations however we have the ability to change the whole graph by being us.

The theory and philosophy of karma is very extensive, however the main idea is the same, we all carry on data from our ancestors, even communities, countries and even our planet has a karma that has to overcome. This karma is sometimes seen in form of patterns, for example when you go to a bad neighborhood and you see how the same story is repeated generation after generation, until one day one person changes a little or big factor and the whole family evolves.

Karma and patterns are not good or bad; they are just inheritance that have to be overcome so we can continue in the evolution process. So every time you can change a pattern in your life, have in mind that you may not be changing only your life, but your whole descendant’s future, and even your family, community, country and even our planet.

There is a method called recapitulation, in which you, by entering meditation go through some stages in your life, and as an spectator you can see a different perspective and sometimes you can actually see this patterns throughout your life. Some also call this archetypes, however the most amazing thing is that even though there are patterns, the human factor just creates a whole new thing. The way I see it, human consciousness is the beginning of the expansion in the universe. My theory is that by overcoming these patterns, and releasing karma it is the way to activate our DNA and unlock what is really hidden within, what has been covered by the dust of history. It is the big 8 lying down….. The serpent biting its own tail….









Pictures taken from:
http://www.eaglezen.com/images/new%20pics/infinite%20ONE.jpg
http://www.freewebs.com/destructionofthesticks/uroboros.jpg

Utopia

We live in a time where we just know that Comunism has failed. But what if Marx was not wrong, he probably did the wrong application, but what if he was a visionary and a channel of galactic information. What if he actually saw the future in where there was no need for competition because our consiousness would be in a more advanced state where there would be no need for that. After all he did say that capitalism would take us there.

I am saying this because as 2012 approaches I have been a little bit more interested in all the theories around. I have my feet grounded that even tough the events that are happening and will happen are of concern, and might be taken as signals, I also think that they are just part of the change.

Not all the people will survive, not because they are not ready, but because it is not their time. I do not even know if I will be alive, but what I know is that there is so much evidence outside and even in our own world to ignore the fact that the shift is not only physical, but it is mostly spiritual and at a conssiousness level.

My theory is that all the turmoil of our days is just an externalization of the global consiuosness and a portrayal of our state of mind. The earthquakes mean that change is comming, that we are moving and that there is nothing we can do. The floods and storms mean we need cleansing in an urgent manner. And events of terrorims and the spill in the gulf just mean that no matter how much technology we think we have, or how civilized we assume we are, we still have no respect for oursleves or for the place we live in.

As many warning signs, we should take a hold of our surroundings and not be afraid but to face this time with courage and with determination. We are part of a galactic cycle that is about to end. The mayans left us a map to "enlightment" it is no a joke any more, it is a fact.

In buddhism, when one becomes a buddha (the enlighten one) one creates their own world, and is able to shape all around. I do not think I will see as much in 2012 as much as I would feel. We expect changes to be in our faces to believe, but they do not have to.

There are people all around the world that know about the coming change, we are only a spec in the universe, yet we mean so much. It is time for our planet to start a new stage and it is up to us to decide if we go along for the ride, or help to self destruct. (In every sense of the word)

Viridiana

Growing Pains

I am not sure that I am at a perfect state of being, or understanding or anything for that matter.
Definitely I will not agree if someone ever tells me I have "figured it out", simply because I see new lessons unfolding before my very eyes on the daily basis. So, If you continue receiving lessons, doesn't that mean that you are still learning?

We learn from day one. The way to survive, love, understand, interact and all those other nice functions a human develops. But the learning never stops. I remember being a teenager thinking that nothing could touch me. Now I see teens doing similar things with similar attitudes and it always makes me mad. It is like I want to change my past by changing them.

For now, I have assimilated that my life went were it had to go. I had strong values to get out of my young years alive and sound. I had a fierce mother that was not afraid of me and made some tough decisions for me. I will always acknowledge that.

But at the end I also know that just as teens and even me, we are all going through stages and we can only aim for the best. I am not sure that a non-rebellious teen will do such a good adult. But again, everybody is different and life has to happen so you can live and let live. Ultimately This Planet is a school, getting us ready for so many other exiting things, but the good thing about this school is that you get the perks when you listen to that sixth sense, and when you ultimately try to live in flow with the universal laws.

None can escape universal laws, some can bend them (like neo in the matrix) but after all they are the bed for human nature theories, and ultimately the background for subjects like psychology and politics.

So let's keep learning, do not try to change your past through others, you can only visualize them taking the right choice, or the right choice taking them. But that is about it....action will come out of these meditations.

But then again....I am still in the path of understanding it all

Viridiana B