The pain of the Moon

I feel and I do too much, for even if the leaf falls the rumble disturbs my very core.
I am in the middle of a garden and I cant help feel the burst, I am a combustion a second from happening. And the voice tells me to calm down, to channel from earth to sky just how she taught me, but I am beyond practicing, I am at the end of my road.

There is a new invitation every day, and every day I cant find the strength to commit, to persevere, to purposefully and gradually release the fire that is burning a hole inside of me.

If it's all a dream, why cant I wake up? I am done, I've been born I've grown, I've shopped, I've reproduced, so can I die now? Can I go? Why would you want me here? Why would you show me the myst and then throw me out of my own home? Not only did I lose my wings, my shield and my sword and was pushed to live like a mortal, now you make me a bomb? Why?! And what is worst, is that you have made me a bomb and hid the trigger from my thumb.

Where is my magic? where is my temple? Why do I keep taking away my dreams? and what else do you want from me? Don't you think I've seen I am not the only one? I dont carry the message alone, and the cause is beyond my vision now, so why am I still here? I have no mission, no wings, no temple, no home, no shield, no sword, no purpose, just a hole and a bomb. What do you want to blow up? Why me? What did I destroyed that you have made sure I lose everything, and Now you go for my mind, when will it be enough? for you to allow me to just go and join the darkness of my soul?

Part 1 of 3

The Soul Evolution of the Brujo

Today I heard in UNAM radio http://www.radio.unam.mx/ i the 9-10AM time slot some interesting information about the phenomena that some cultures have documented as part of their belief system through the centuries. The presence of brujos and men of great power is often described in some indigenous cultures. I hereby offer a story based on this fact.

Times have been sometimes dark and sometimes lighter, although they have never been all light for me. I have been in the darkest of times, and through the times when the light took over, and through the time that I was adored, demonized and plain wrong.

On the contrary, a person that has been in the light for all of its known existence is a person that has a shield of protection placed by a mother like figure, they must descend of a protected blood. They are by default just men and women and overall happy contributors of their environment, without the need to question their reality, but rather accept it. This is what some would call a privileged existence for they learn from infancy the agreements that will provide them with the right thought process that will allow them to manifest their own contentment. They are the majority, and that is why when there are massive awakenings, these privileged beings are the most tempted to rebel, for it is their first time hearing about something they were oblivious to. Without massive disruption these souls continue their evolution in a gradual way, doing right by default and not by conviction. These people can be woken, although it would mean to take a protection that had been granted to them, and leave them to fend for themselves. Hence, a privileged can only seek the darkness, the darkness can not come to it as it comes to some of us, from very early in our lives.

Those brewed in darkness have loved it, breath it, left it behind, come back to it, swore it off, and embraced it back. And this is where I have been, I have by now been in the darkness more than there has been light, and yet here I am trying to find a place, an place between the comfort of the darkness and the warmth of the light.

I remember when there was no law, and we would linger through the souls of humans, those that feared us. Yesterday in the radio there was mentioned of an indigenous culture of Mexico where they described how it used to happen from time to time that a brujo would impregnate a woman in her sleep, an immaculate conception, and that since this birth was not naturally scheduled but forced then a kid in town would start vanishing by sickness to compensate the unbalance. As I listened I recognized some things, for example that when men started to study the mystic arts ages ago, they would grow in a specific scope of geography, so all around the world, human evolution took on the mystic religion, not only by belief but by practice.

Great beings of power for many years were on their own, they learned and evolved by trail and error, and things like that mentioned in the radio, even though not exactly like that, but very similar where one could force its own rebirth. These kinds of things had taken place in more cultures than we are aware of today; however to this date there are easier ways and heavier preoccupations in which the mystic partakes. There are councils now that oversee these kinds of forbidden practices, that require human sacrifice. The ones that might practice to this date are societies that are inclined to the practice of what would be considered souls that are stuck in their evolution by the pursuit of absolute power.

These are some of the things I have remembered through my life in this time. I am not sure I have caused this birth on will, I know I have chosen the partners I would do it, I also know those that had been previously chosen were also in the darkness so its hard to say if we are at it again, or if we are really trying to bridge the light and the night. If we are shadows, or reflections, or both.

Labels out of the pantry and into the 3D

When we think of labels, what do we think of? Some might say, we mean a tool to learn, and others will say its tool to organize, others will say its a tool to identify. In essence, we can say that they are useful, that they have been able to withstand the test of time, and to this date, a world without labels will just fall off the orbit in more ways than one. The evolution of labels has penetrated the digital divide, programs would collapse if all of the sudden we decided that labels were no longer appropriate.

So what is the debate about labels, in society? The labels that we put ourselves must in theory serve a purpose, but it is important then that we are aware of this so we can use it to our own advantage. That is why first impressions are crucial, because we do not know in what mode are the people outside our world labeling us. Yet the world confuse us by dividing us, in those that think labels are good and go by them, and those that think labels are bad and go against norm in general to prove a point, reinforcing the point of the others. Because the reality is not in which side is right or wrong. The solution is in the truths that those two positions share in common. There is the potential for peace. Yet to those that the division is evident can use this to their advantage, or they can observe, get out the divide and be able to see a different point of view and be an example of a life outside the divide. Not by proclamation but by just living their life outside the divide. Interacting with those in both sides, breaking the paradigm. Disruptive that do not create chaos, rather they offer an option outside the divide.

Labels then, are just a topic, like labels, there are many ideas that divide us, but there are also alternatives, and often the alternative is a personal choice of tolerance and responsibility of the actions that our ideas commit us to.

Love as we know it

Student:

What is love?

Dare I say, where can I find it?

How does it look like, 

And how does it taste like?

Teacher:

Where the sand meets the end of a wave, there is love

where the feeling to give overwhelms you, there is love

the space where magic and miracles come from, 

that is a room full of love.

Student:

I get it, I will buy a beautiful house on the beach,

I will give away by the loads and study miracles

Then I will see love, right?

Teacher:

Love as we know it is a tricky thing, 

We are taught that love is hearts, and bears and flowers

And we are not taught why.

The heart reminds us to flow and always come back to center,

bears are fierce creatures protectors and wild,

flowers remind us of the potential of a seed, 

flowers teach us about diversity of beauty, 

but overall these memes for love invite us to remember,

To remember that they are love themselves, they come from love and will go to love.

I am sure that if you take the journey you have planned out, you will see love

Not because there is a recipe, but because you are love wanting to find love

And once the intention to know yourself is set, nothing and none can stop that stream.

The pursuit of hapiness

The pursuit of happiness

Feelings and emotions. It seems that they are never over, they never stop and even when you

start being able to detach, an emotion of guilt covers you making you feel like you are not normal.

I run my day every day hoping for a perfect feeling... and I get those moments sporadically, when I'm allowed to just appreciate my surroundings, otherwise I am just overwhelmed with all this energy inside of me wanting to get out.

And it usually goes out in frustration, in complaining in feeling with time and the world over my shoulders. And then I go out thinking is all me, that I am the only one with a hectic life and all these things that run through my head, all my little or big obstacles.

The truth is that I've overcome some of the greatest judges in my life... and as I conquered the big ones I went on thinking I was done, not paying attention to the little ones, the mundane ones. And I finally understand that as long as I continue pursuing happiness and expecting for

perfection, for exactness, wishing for time, wishing for help, wishing .... the furthest away I go.

Today I feel connected through the energy that guides my emotions with the energy that flows through the world. I saw my emotions and feelings as just waves of an influx of energy... I saw me as just a mere artifact. Just like trees flow air, we are instruments in flowing energy.

Today I thought: maybe I have no problems at all... maybe I'm just processing energy. They are not real, only love is real for all is love trying to be expressed. I am not even human, I am a tree.... I dig deep looking for home because I need to lay my roots and I continue to want more because I want to grow high... it's unconscious , it's coded in our DNA, to be able to process the

energy from down up and help it recycle.... we are not the top of the chain, we are a filter. Let's

shed our egos that we are the top race of this world and do our job, to learn from our grandparents the trees to have roots that interconnect the whole world, to provide shelter and shade... to be a safe place during the dark, to be part of the cycle of life.

Hover over me lord, Goddess, allow me to be the better filter, allow me to detach from my circumstances and do my job to process. A tree never gives out CO2 , help me give love 100% of the time, shed me from my expectations of love ... remind me that love hides in the dark as well as in the light. I am a God when I am IN Love

Humble, Pray, Listen

- Dear guides, Goddess, I humbly communicate to you today. I am thankful for all that I have learned, seen, witnessed in the journey of my life. I must confess I have felt abandoned as I haven't felt or seen the truth revealed so obviously to me lately. And then I think maybe I have abandoned you, and my quest to listen and to seek truth. I've grown comfortable and I've forgotten to commune, to breath, to listen to you to feel you in me. I've noticed you have been calling me through the fire, I apologize if that is the best way to reach me. I am convinced of my darkness, I've come from there after so long, I've pushed the envelope so much that today I am a shadow that comes out to play between the dark and the light. Is this what you meant when you showed me I am a bridge? I think so, Only in the shadow can light enter the mysteries of the dark and get the treasures that lay behind, and bring them to the world showered with light. 

Is that my purpose master? to remind them that even though they have been showered with light, the gifts come from the darkness, that only those that play with shadows have been able to serve really the light in its expansion?

- Yes! I live in the darkness, in the temples of fire, in the core of creation. I am the brightest light that lives at the bottom of all that is dark, but I sprout through the earth, through the worms in it, through the birds that eat those worms I fly high and I find shadows, for they are the ones that dare to look. The most ancient of the children of this soil that hold a body. I am not forsaken I am waiting, I just am, eternal, I continue to travel with sound with the eternal wave that lives within the light but can live in the deepest of darkness. I dont invite you to stay in the dark, I invite you to travel between realms and bring fruits to this world, fruits that only those like you can bring forth. Don't be afraid of me, dont be afraid of yourself.

Window of Powerful Transition

Its been a while since I last wrote, or published a PODCAST but soon I will have hopefully two brand new episodes very promising for me and for my path.

There is a new season starting and every layer of my being feels it. Its a moment to really be grateful. I have been blessed with many gifts in the last powerful weeks and they have been so subtle but so profound that to the naked eye may be nothing, but for me, its like I have been reborn anew.

I have been moving around with my family since the end of June and its all coming to a stop, to a phase of rest, I think this is the season to gather energy and prepare for the winter, to prepare for the darkness of days, and to conserve the teachings of this summer of 2017 that has been one of the most amazing yet.

In the coming days we have a lot of things happening... at least me, tomorrow there is a town celebration of the town where part of my family is from, and it is also my 33rd birthday (a very meaningful year for me) and a new moon, with a cherry on top which is the eclipse in this side of the hemisphere on the next day. Its amazing! Its like the Universe is screaming to me that its the new birth I have foreseen for so long. I am humble at the sight of the Universe, at the elements, at the Goddess, at darkness, at shadows, at the light.

For my my 33rd birthday is about mastery, and I have set myself earlier this year to decide what I was going to Master? I came up with a long list, and I have started my way... but the first of them, was to Master myself, one of the hardest things I have set myself to do. And even though I am not 100% there yet (and who knows if I ever will be at 100%) I am closer than I have ever had, and that has opened the doors to Master all the other things in my list, or at least to be in the way. This year hence is the year in which I take full responsibility of my path, and trust fully in the guidance within, the one that comes from the four corners of the universe and beyond.

The Eclipse this year is to me a powerful transmutation tool, and the effects extend beyond the days to come. I still remember the first eclipse I witnessed, I was 6 or 7 years old and I was humbled, questions and enigmas started silently to be fed inside of me, and now I see the union of the sun and the moon as a magical pass that we get to witness, a union a mathematical precision that is happening clockwork, while we are travelling through space at 300 kilometers per second or so. Its just beyond patterns, its a symphony. A day that will live in my code for as long as I am light.

Thank you